You cannot talk about race without talking about privilege. And when people start talking about privilege, they get paralyzed by shame.
My husband's a pediatrician, so he and I talk about parenting all the time. You can't raise children who have more shame resilience than you do.
Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be our best. Perfectionism is not about healthy achievement and growth; it's a shield.
We judge people in areas where we're vulnerable to shame, especially picking folks who are doing worse than we're doing.
In my research, I've interviewed a lot of people who never fit in, who are what you might call 'different': scientists, artists, thinkers. And if you drop down deep into their work and who they are, there is a tremendous amount of self-acceptance.
Vulnerability is about showing up and being seen. It's tough to do that when we're terrified about what people might see or think.
Kids who have an understanding of how and why their feelings are what they are are much more likely to talk to us about what's happening, and they have better skills to work it out.
When the people we love stop paying attention, trust begins to slip away and hurt starts seeping in.
I've learned that men and women who are living wholehearted lives really allow themselves to soften into joy and happiness. They allow themselves to experience it.
Men walk this tightrope where any sign of weakness illicits shame, and so they're afraid to make themselves vulnerable for fear of looking weak.