Quotes by "AVIS Viswanathan"

What others think of you, or what they say or do to you, is their business; not yours! They have a right to their opinions. And you must just let them be. It is when you try to change their opinion of you that you grieve – and often suffer. Instead, be unmoved by their choices, their utterances, and just be true to yourself. You will then be fearless and unaffected by all that is happening around you.

Once you understand the power of meditation, you don’t even need to engage in it as a practice. You don’t need to then set aside a particular time of the day for meditation as an activity. In that state, you are that; you are meditative in everything that you do. There is a mindful, immersive quality to your Life then. Surely, debilitating emotions and disturbing thoughts will come calling, but your awareness, your mindfulness, helps you to not pick them up. You see them, you feel them, but you let them pass. This discerning ability to choose wisely is the biggest gift that meditation delivers. This is what helps you to be happy despite your circumstances.

Don’t wish that your Life is different from what it is now. This is how you invite suffering into your Life. What is happening to you has already arrived in your Life. You can’t wish it away, you can’t undo it, you can’t deny its presence. By asking why is something happening in your Life, you are resisting your current reality. That’s also why you are suffering. Instead, learn to be non-suffering by embracing what is. Being non-suffering is a personal choice, it holds the key to your Happiness!

When facing a Life-changing crisis, don’t expect your situation to turn around instantaneously. It won’t. So, prepare for the long haul. Nourish yourself. Meditate. Pray. Eat your meals on time and please eat healthy stuff. Exercise. Go for long walks. Goof off once in a while. Your being morose, or your worrying stiff, is not going to solve your problems. The situation will resolve only when the time arrives. Until that happens, you have to last, you have to survive. So, take care of yourself. Every moment. Every day.

When you start viewing another person’s Life and wonder “how’s it that they are having a good time when I am not?”, well then, you have invited suffering into your own Life! Be sure…1. You don’t know their story and don’t quite know if they are really having a ‘good’ time and 2. It’s their Life and another person’s Life is none of your business! Seriously. So, to be happy, stop comparing yourself with others. Period.

Grief is an important emotion. Don’t suppress it. Go through the process of grieving as long as you feel it is important and necessary for you to grieve. Don’t let people tell you that to grieve is being weak or being depressive. Hardly. Choose your own way of expressing your grief. If you must cry, cry. If you prefer being silent, be that way. But whatever you do, remember that grief when carried for too long in you becomes a burden. Then it begins to cause your suffering. So, at some point, hold up your grief and examine it. Is it serving any Purpose? Is the process of grieving comforting you or is it making you feel miserable? The moment you realize the futility of clinging on to grief, you will set it down. This will set you free. You will then be happy despite the circumstances.

Violent thought affects your inner peace and Happiness more than you can ever imagine. When you are on the street and you use an expletive to yell at an errant road user, that is violent thought. This tendency to think ill of someone, even if you have been provoked or wronged, has to cease. This is the ahimsa that Gandhi talked about. It wasn’t just about violent action being given up, it was also about violent thought ceasing. When you train your mind to be non-violent in thought, and of course action, that is when you will discover that you are the Happiness that you seek!

You have to be clear that, often times, in fact almost always, despite your best efforts, perfection and success may elude you. So, the only way to stay anchored, and at peace with yourself and with your world, is to embrace what is. If you tried hard, if you put in your best, just celebrate the process of trying, of doing your best…leave the results and outcomes to Life. You can never get a perfect 10! And what you have is what it is. When you embrace this idea and live your Life, you will never be keyed up over the outcomes. You will enjoy the process, above all. And that is the key to your Happiness!

Adulting is serious stuff. Yes, it is cool to be independent and getting to do your own thing. But with freedom comes responsibility. Where you are not just responsible for taking care of yourself or earning enough to pay your bills, but you are also responsible for facing Life and dealing with its upheavals and surprises. There are no right or wrong ways to face Life. Everyone has to do what they believe they have to do at a particular moment and keep going. Eventually, you will figure out why what happened to you was part of your own myth unfolding. So, if you are a young adult and are up against a wall, keep the faith and keep walking. Doors will always open, the path will always appear...

Dealing with toxic people is an art that can be learnt. Whether it is in a family, among friends or at the workplace, exercise a choice to establish and maintain clear contours of your relationship with such people. Define very clearly in your mind what about this person irks you. And draw the line there. The point is not whether others can get along with such people, the point is that you cannot suffer them. So, when others ask you to be “adjusting”, you must tell them why you can’t do this – that it affects your inner peace. Once you define and draw the boundaries clearly, barring the initial settling in issues, pretty soon, everyone will see value in your approach. Clearly, there’s no point sacrificing your Happiness for another’s behavior or your reluctance to call them out!

Whatever be your current reality, you are never in conflict with it. Life is happening to you. And you are going with the flow. A health challenge, a break-up, the loss of a loved one, a career-related complication, a messy financial situation, whatever you are dealing with, you are doing pretty fine living with what is. However, the moment your mind plays up an expectation that your Life must be different from what it is now, suffering kicks in. So, clearly, suffering comes from expectations. And you cause your expectations. The solution, therefore, to avoid suffering is to drop all expectations. Embrace your current reality, do what you can do in the given context and keep moving…

Life serves us all wake-up calls at different times. Through experiences, events, conversations. You can surely turn off the alarm clock and go back to sleep, which is you can ignore the call, but you can’t deny that it is time you woke up. What is interesting is that if you don’t heed the wake-up call the first time, Life will come back and knock you on your head again and again. It is your choice to process that stimuli or not that makes all the difference.

Life is eventually about things, people, relationships, projects, opportunities money, health and even memories - all of them being taken away from you! Life is about constantly embracing new normals, it is about finding meaning, Purpose, beauty and Happiness in what is!

Your Bliss is your fuel! It is your alarm clock…it is your Americano...it is your double large Single Malt on the rocks!! It will wake you up, keep you awake, lead you, draw you in, drive you and, importantly, it will give you a perpetual high!

Make your Bliss the reason why you live and then watch the magic unfold. All that you need will flow to you on its own! Every single time!!!

When your work becomes your prayer, Life becomes meaningful. We are conditioned to imagine that work is a means to earn a living. But what if you made your work the reason why you live, the raison d’etre for your Happiness, for your living? Think: how happy you possibly can be when what you do every day is your prayer, your selfless offering to a Higher Energy, to the creator. Simply, instead of making money the object, make your work your prayer and strive for world-class excellence…money, over time, will eventually flow to you, just as everything you need will!

Train your mind to be non-worrying, non-frustrated and non-suffering. And then feel the difference. Non-worrying does not mean that worries will not arise; it means you won't pick up a worry and give it any attention or power. Non-frustrated does not mean inaction or resignation; it means you will not feel defeated when your efforts to fix whatever you want changed in your Life repeatedly come unstuck. And non-suffering does not mean you are free from pain; it means you have learned to co-live with extreme pain by choosing to not ask 'why' or 'why me'. Now, when you are non-worrying, non-frustrated and non-suffering, you are happy. Simple.

When you are wronged by someone, you have two options: either fight back or walk away. Now, if you can forgive and move on, walk way. But if you will grieve and suffer forever that feeling of having been violated and short-changed, fight. But don’t fight if it will make you wallow in a maze of debilitating emotions – anger, grief, fear, insecurity, worry, hatred…such a fight that drains you of all your goodness, and which leaves you cold and numb, is simply not worth it. But if you don’t fight the good fight, understandably, the cause will be lost. And that’s sacrilege. So, the key is to practice detached determination. Fight with focus and strategy and fight calmly, happily! Fight with detachment – don’t cling on to your desired outcomes, don’t set deadlines. Simply fight. When you fight the good fight, with equanimity and a sense of Purpose, the outcome never matters. The fact that you stood up and fought does.

Being happy professionally is really the ability to do what you love doing the way you want to do it. Which is, if you have a natural talent and you have honed it to a world-class standard, you want the creative and professional space to express this talent your way. However, because your customers – both paying customers and society at large – want to control what they want from you, there may be times when you feel suffocated and unhappy. Ask yourself: is it worth doing something for money or social acclaim/validation at the cost of your inner peace or Happiness? If the answer to this question is ‘no’ – choose to be ‘humbly ruthless’. Be unflinching and non-negotiable on your professional and creative standards. Yet take that position with all humility, knowing fully well that someone else may fulfil that need for your customer should you opt out. Surprisingly though, 9 times out of 10, people may come back and work with you. The one deal that breaks off may have never made you happy; so, really, no sweat there! This is the key to Happiness – being ‘humbly ruthless’!

Apna Time Ayega’ is perhaps a way to console yourself when you don’t get what you want but you see all others around you getting ‘success, fame and money’. But wait! What’s wrong with having to toil longer for what you want and experience delays and denials while honing your creativity, your skills and your art? What is wrong with enjoying the process of doing what makes you come alive? Actually, it is this process, this journey, that counts more than arriving at some place, proving to someone or getting something! There is no right time in the future. This moment, now, this is the only time you have – because the past is dead and the future is not yet born. This is always the right time. So, instead of sighing and saying ‘Apna Time Ayega’, flip the paradigm, say: ‘Yehi Hai Right Time, Baby!