I like to think I am a happy angry person, if that makes sense.
I'd love to feature for the Barbarians. I'd love to win a Champions Cup, and I'd love to get to another World Cup and make a fist of it: get to a World Cup final at least and see what could have been, particularly after 2011 when Wales reached the semi-finals.
It doesn't matter how young or old you are, and whatever jersey you wear, you realise the derby games prick up the hairs on the backs of people's necks.
I usually don't talk for three days after a defeat. Then you have an epiphany and realise it's just a game.
Show me a good loser, and I'll show you a loser.
We've got a great team sport, but we harp on about individuals. It's a bit contradictory.
If you had a global calendar, then you would have less games; you create more intrigue, create supply and demand with regards to the sport, and that will heighten the intrigue with regards to the Lions. Create more mystique not only at international level but at club level as well.
When it comes to talking about beating certain teams, we can be narrow-minded when we need to look at the bigger picture.
I am probably a bit numb upstairs, which is sometimes a good thing.
From a personal point of view, I wouldn't have been happy with one cap but would always have been happy with two. I never counted on getting to 80.
It's very easy to quantify performances and personal accolades, but ultimately, I'm in a team sport, and it's about winning.
Going out there as a forward can shorten your career somewhat, whereas if you go out as a back, you will be OK.
As individuals, we don't sometimes let ourselves enjoy things that we possibly should because of ways you want to be perceived, which is a silly thing as well.
Welsh rugby has done its dirty washing in public. It's nothing new. We're a tribal bunch. If warring parties want to sway public opinion, they do it in the public arena.
We don't want Welsh rugby to be seen as healthy or upbeat. If we think that, we could become complacent or stagnate.
There is ways and means to vent, and sometimes they can be the wrong ways.
I was watching the Five Nations as a kid, I'm very fortunate to have been able to pull the red jersey on a few times, and now I'm able to assist the team, assist the young players coming through, and help the guys who do have the ambition to play more for Wales.