A relationship that involves physical, emotional, psychological, or spiritual abuse is not a twin flame relationship. There is a difference between painful emotional and mental shifts in perception, and gaslighting. There is a difference between Life asking you to change and ‘upgrade’ as a result of your relationship, and your partner demanding that you change to appease their selfish domineering desires. There is a difference between acting out wounds and perpetuating toxic narcissistic behavior. There is a difference between unconsciously triggering each other’s shadows, and deliberately triggering the other with malice and hatred.
The role of the twin flame is to aid you in the development of inner wholeness, harmony, and self-realization (Oneness) – but this journey certainly isn’t full of sunshine and roses. In fact, the meeting of two twin flames is like the meeting of the sun and moon, earth and sky, fire and water: both partners mirror precisely what the other lacks. Understandably this can create divine harmony, but also intense conflict within a relationship.
One of the most painful stages in the twin flame relationship is that of the “runner and chaser” dynamic. After the initial stages of ecstatic union and fairy-tale partnership, things start to heat up. Egos begin to clash, core wounds, insecurities, and traumas are rubbed raw, and shadow selves lash out. As a result, it’s inevitable that almost every twin flame relationship will battle through drama and dysfunction at first.
Falling in love is an amazingly transcendental adventure. It is a great blessing to experience something so pure and sacred. So how can such an experience become corrupted? The answer is that our motivations sully the experience – but these motivations are usually entirely unconscious (that is, below our conscious awareness). When finding love is used as a way of escaping ourselves, it becomes more like a drug to numb our pain, rather than a spiritual journey. The experience is cheapened as conditions are placed upon the relationship for it to work. The dominant unspoken condition is: “You must make me happy and distract me enough from my pain and emptiness for this to work.” When this condition isn’t met consistently, the relationship begins to sour, decompose, and break apart.
Break free from the societal conditioning which makes you believe that your self-worth, fulfillment, and fundamental wholeness is based on whether you’re in a relationship or not. Learn to love being alone. Enjoy your own company. Explore who you are. Do some soul-searching. You don’t need another person to fulfill you.
False twin flame relationships help us to understand ourselves better. They are a powerful lesson in the importance of being discerning, self-caring, and aware of our shadows. The reason why we enter false twin flame relationships in the first place is due to the naivety of romanticizing others and being disconnected from the wisdom of our soul.
Contrary to popular belief, twin flames do not complete each other– this is because the soul itself is already complete. Instead, such relationships exist to catalyze spiritual maturing and conscious expansion. In other words, twin flame connections exist to aid the collective growth of our planet towards compassion, tranquility, and love.
Remember, a twin flame relationship is not better or more superior than other relationships. All types of relationships, twin flame or not, have their own spiritual value. The twin flame connection may appear more attractive than other types of relationships due to its intensity, but it’s not for the faint of heart.
The main difference between twin flames and soul mates is the fact that in a twin flame relationship you will be continuously challenged to grow, shed your ego, and awaken. While soul mates are loving companions, twin flames are the fires that burn through our fears, shadows and limiting beliefs.
Soul Mates share complementary, compatible life goals and their spiritual natures are often in sync with ours. They also experience an immense level of comfort with each other that cannot be experienced in other relationships, and they complement each other in many ways through their strengths and weaknesses.
The more spiritually connected we become, the more we may intuitively sense that finding our soul mate or twin flame is not only important, but it is actually part of our life purpose. We may understand that on a deep level, our soul seeks expansion, and the best way to do that is within the loving container of a relationship.