The fact is, “The Independent Millennial Woman” is not a woman who takes pride in being alone, or exuding masculine energy, in fact she possesses a set of invaluable skills—high emotional intelligence, good judgment, specialized knowledge, and a vast network of possibilities. Stephenson tackles the hard truth that women are losing their power in relationships, women are no longer leaving relationships and African-American women are more likely to suffer from low self-esteem which in turn leads them to remain in unhealthy relationships for validation purposes.
The problem isn’t that they don't show you love, respect, and attention... The problem is that you wish they would... and now you’re begging, hoping, and giving endless second chances. They don’t value you and if you don’t change something, they’ll convince you to not value yourself. Stop arguing with reality. When it comes to love, respect, and attention, the right person won’t have to be begged.
That’s the thing about toxic relationships. They aren’t always toxic. They give us moments of happiness that we wish would last a lifetime. Those are the moments we cling onto. You convince yourself that there is enough love, underneath all of the chaos and mayhem you created in each other’s lives. You tell yourself that maybe there’s enough love left to make things work. And this made you question every little thing, including yourself. Maybe it wasn’t just him that was toxic. Maybe I was toxic to myself by continually opening the same closed doors, very well knowing there was nothing good behind them.