Do I wake up every day and thank God that I live in 21st-century Britain? Of course not. But from time to time, I recognise it as an unfathomable privilege.
But over 20 years ago I was a victim of rape. And thank god it didn't result in a pregnancy. Because I can't imagine going through what I went through and then having to consider what to do about an unwanted pregnancy from an attacker.
I'm actually an evil bastard in real life. Fark allows me to vent weirdness. Thank god for that, too.
When my father came over here penniless with $100 sewn into his underwear, thank God some well-meaning liberal didn't come put his arm around him and say, 'Let me take care of you.'
I was the laziest person around. Suddenly, one day, I decided to become an actor. Thank God for that whimsical decision: else, by now, I'd have been a 140-kilo, butter-chicken-bingeing hotelier.
All I can say is thank God my stepdaughter's favourite band in the whole wide world is The Beatles. We do have dance parties to 'Wannabe' though.
Let your children be as so many flowers, borrowed from God. If the flowers die or wither, thank God for a summer loan of them.