You can’t selectively numb your anger, any more than you can turn off all lights in a room, and still expect to see the light.
Love is supposed to be based on trust, and trust on love, it's something rare and beautiful when people can confide in each other without fearing what the other person will think.
Expansion. That is the idea the novelist must cling to. Not completion. Not rounding off, but opening out.
Writing is a way of opening up to the world.