My bulimia was my addiction. Hurting myself was my addiction... The music is what saved me. That's the only thing I can trust.
I see myself today as Sitting Bull trying to bring a voice of Easternism, holism, community-based thinking to a very Western culture.
There are always deadlines I have to meet. I don't let myself get too close to the deadlines, so it's not like I'm just sweating bullets or anything if the clock is ticking. I never let myself get in that situation.
I'm proud of the fact I was able to surround myself with great people who did great things, and it resulted in the Bulls being a global brand and winning championships and a factor in the community.
When I was 16, I filmed an episode of 'Full House' where my family goes to Disney World. I remember putting on baggy overalls just to hide my stomach. When I watched it, I was pretty disappointed and bummed out looking at myself... I didn't feel good about my own body.
It's when I compare myself to what other people are able to do that I run into trouble. It is a bummer. I just constantly try to put things into perspective.
My parents said that I was nine months old and would throw myself out of the crib onto the floor continually. As soon as they left the room after putting me back in they'd hear a big bump and I'd be on the floor again.
But for me to have the opportunity to stand in front of a bunch of executives and present myself, I had to hustle in my own way. I can't tell you how frustrating it was that they didn't get that. No joke - I'd leave meetings crying all the time.
I'm a spokesman for myself. It just so happens that there's a bunch of people that are concerned with what I have to say. I find that frightening at times because I'm just as confused as most people. I don't have the answers for anything.
I've seen some terrible plays, but I generally enjoy myself. One play I walked out of, I have a tremendous respect for the author. That was Robert Wilson, something called 'Network,' which consisted of Wilson sitting on a bunk, the dialogue of the movie 'Network' looped in while a chair on a rope went up and down.
What I did, you know, being away from my family, letting so many people down. I let myself down, not being out on the football field, being in a prison bed, in a prison bunk, writing letters home, you know. That wasn't my life.
That wasn't the way that things was supposed to be. And all because the so-called culture that I thought was right, that I thought it was cool, and I thought it was fun, and it was exciting at the time. It all led to me laying in a prison bunk by myself with no one to talk to but myself.
There ain't no genius here. Strategy in baseball is overrated. People say, 'That Weaver, he plays for the long ball too much.' You bet I do. Hit 'em out. Then I got no worry about somebody lousing up a bunt, I got no worry about the hit and run - and that's really overrated - I got no worry about base-running errors. And I can't screw it up myself.
The burden of the self is lightened with I laugh at myself.
When the burdens of the presidency seem unusually heavy, I always remind myself it could be worse. I could be a mayor.
I always thought of myself as a kind of literary bureaucrat. And that was never going to be enough for me.
I was once making a burger for myself at my boyfriend's house and a lyric started pouring out and I had to catch it, so I ran to another room to write it down, but then the kitchen caught fire. His cabinets were charred, and he was furious. But it was worth it for a song.
I was young so when I had that job at Burger King, I was still in high school and I just needed to help out my mom. And help myself because I needed to buy some of my clothes. I did that for about three years and I had became a shift manager working at Burger King, doing my thing. I was young and excited to make my own money.
I'm calling myself 'The Doodler,' and with the simple addition of a small burglar's mask, I achieve utter anonymity.
Burlesque dancing didn't solve all my post-divorce problems, but what it did do was force me to court myself for a little while.
