I know that this process of âme changing my lifeâ doesnât just end once I set fire to this list of things I hate about myself. Tonight isnât as much of a new beginning as it is a violent end and I know the real work hasnât even started yet.
Iâm going to follow this invisible red thread until I find myself again⊠until I finally figure out⊠who Iâm meant to be.
If ever I was running, it was towards you.
I love him in ways that I canât explain to other people. They donât understand⊠itâs not their fault.
I really believe that there is an invisible red thread tied between him and me, and that it has stretched and tangled for years â across oceans and lifetimes. I know that it wonât break because our souls are tied.
I just want your voice aimed at me again. I want to absorb the direction of your eyesâŠ
Everything hurts right now and nothing is helping because as the pain is getting worse â so is the love.
I want you to trust yourself, baby. Love is all that matters and youâve always known that. Youâve known, since you were a very little girl, what your life is meant to be aboutâŠ
I know that your soul is on life support and that you feel lost and like youâre completely spinning out of control, but youâre finding yourself â here, tonight⊠even in this darkness.
Why wait? So precious is this lifeâthis giftâthis temporary blindness. Burn and drown and embrace the false dark, then grasp the unthinkable height of resulting joy. For in the end, in the light of truth when the flesh is cast off, there is nothing but this.
For years I was deathly afraid of my own weaknesses, but when I closed my eyes and let myself be vulnerable to them it allowed miracles to take place. Miracles that were only alive when I accessed my BLIND faith.
Starting over can be the scariest thing in the entire world, whether itâs leaving a lover, a school, a team, a friend or anything else that feels like a core part of our identity but when your gut is telling you that something here isnât right or feels unsafe, I really want you to listen and trust in that voice.
Being a Dream Girl is never going to be about what you look like or how much you weigh. After all, our physical appearances are just reflections of our inner worlds. What makes you a Dream Girl is your emotional sensitivity, your self-awareness, and your ability to communicate who you are effectively and compassionately in the world.
This is your life â not your parentsâ, teachersâ or significant otherâs. If you ever find yourself on a path that just doesnât feel safe anymore, you have every right to stop the car, get out â change your shoes and start walking.
I never want you to deny anything about yourself because you have grown up thinking itâs unacceptable or inconvenient for the people around you.
Can you identify the source preventing you from feeling good every single day, from loving yourself unconditionally and making your dreams come true? Is it a voice in your head or a gut wrenching ache that compromises your inner peace and doesnât allow you to accept the love around you? Is there one thing, or maybe many things, keeping you from forgiving your past and moving forward, tormenting you with lies like âYou donât deserve real love so just settle for whatever you can get,â âYouâre not smart enough to achieve your dream so donât even try,â or âLook at your past⊠you should hate yourself way more than you actually do!â? Welcome to your Little Monster.
Even if we try to conform to ideals and strive for perfection, we will always be pulled back to our core identity because itâs the path of least resistance for our souls â an energy force that wants nothing more than for us to honor and accept who we are and discover what weâre meant to do in the world.
So many people will tell you ânoâ, and you need to find something you believe in so hard that you just smile and tell them âwatch meâ. Learn to take rejection as motivation to prove people wrong. Be unstoppable. Refuse to give up, no matter what. Itâs the best skill you can ever learn.