I always wished that I was gay, that I was just 100 percent gay - for so many reasons. No. 1, that means I would know who I was. No. 2, it would be a lot easier for me to be accepted by people because I wear wigs and dresses on the Internet, and I'm feminine and all these things. It'd be so much easier to be just like, 'Yeah, I'm gay.' But I'm not.

On YouTube, you know, if you say something, you know, that triggers somebody, it becomes a whole controversy, a whole thing - and all the comments and everybody's upset, whereas a book, there's no comment section. There's no - there's nowhere for the audience to, you know, get mad at you for saying something.

I have kind of a thick skin.

I'd wanted to be a director since I was five and had been making videos since I was a kid. Then YouTube came around during high school. I was making videos, and it was just a place to put them, like storage.

I would tell high school Shane to just start writing down everything that was happening. It was so hard to think back to all those terrible moments. They all started clustering together into one big terrible moment.