My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.
My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.
If it wasn't for pick-pockets I'd have no sex life at all.
At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he knows he can't.
I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.
My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.