Dig deep, past the pain of knowing you failed or that you could have done things differently and past the temptation to self-loathe. Live in the pain of the mistake, notice your ego's attempt to protect you by justifying your mistake or blaming another for their part in a situation. We must go deeper into ourselves, to tap into the wisdom that resides underneath our mistakes.
I now know that surrendering, allowing, and “BE-ing” is far more productive than grasping for control. I don't know why one child is born with autism and another isn't, or why some children have to fight cancer and some don't. I have lived long enough to know that life is not fair, never will be fair, and we shouldn’t expect it to be.