Whatever you want to do in the industry, do it on the smallest level at first. If you want to be a writer, write a screenplay in your house. If you want to be an actor, put on a one-man show. If you want to be a stand-up comedian, go to an open mic.

Right away when I got to college, I realized that being a politician sucks. It's really hard! It wasn't for me. B.J. Novak is convinced that I will run for mayor of Chicago at some point. He begs me to do it. It'd be a tough gig, but I was always very attracted to the idea of helping people and trying to make the city a better place.

I'm more scared of parking by a parking meter than vampires because one of them is real and adversely affects my life and results in a $35 fine, and one is nonsense.

I'm a big crier in general. The right life insurance commercial will take me out for a couple of days.

It's OK to argue with your friends. Guys can do it better than girls, usually, but if you ever get into a fight with a true friend or a spouse or a boyfriend, get it out, fight, be angry for five minutes, and then move past it. Don't let it fester; don't hold a grudge. If you do, that's when it will get worse and worse.