Books
Quotes
Blog
Author Program
Sign In
Sign Up
When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord, in his wisdom, didn't work that way. So I just stole one and asked him to forgive me.
— Emo Philips
Tags: religion

Other Quotes by "Emo Philips"

England is better only because I stand out there as 'unusual'.
— Emo Philips
Tags: out, only, stand, better
I got some new underwear the other day. Well, new to me.
— Emo Philips
Tags: well, some, new, day, me
He taught me never to smile, which helps me when I visit disaster sites.
— Emo Philips
Tags: disaster, never, me, smile
I was with this girl the other night and from the way she was responding to my skillful caresses, you would have sworn that she was conscious from the top of her head to the tag on her toes.
— Emo Philips
Tags: way, girl, night, you
People come up to me... concerned... that I'll reproduce.
— Emo Philips
Tags: up, come, people, me
View More by "Emo Philips"
  • About
  • Contact Us
  • Terms and Conditions
  • Community Guidelines
  • Privacy Policy
© WSIRN 2025, Made with ❤ in Tokyo & Bali.