Joan Rivers telling Lauren Bacall her dress is all wrong is like Carrot Top telling Lenny Bruce he needs to get an edge.
Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.
One man's Voltaire is another man's Screech.
Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but guilt is simply God's way of letting you know that you're having too good a time.
I rant, therefore I am.
The American education system couldn't be more badly directed or poorly funded if the Secretary of Education were Ed Wood.