When something – or someone – that you are clinging on to starts controlling you, the joy of doing that something or being with that person evaporates. You feel miserable. To uncling, you must feel and hate that misery deep within you. Ask yourself if you really want so much suffering in your Life – for instance, if you smoke, are you smoking for yourself anymore or is your habit controlling you, driving you crazy; or if you are in an abusive marriage, are you in it because you are loving it or are you being held hostage in it by the person’s power or by social norms? Only brutally honest conversations with yourself on what – or who – is possessing you leads you to uncling. You finally uncling only when you realize that you have to make that choice to let go, to move on, to end the suffering!