I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Breathing in the pain, the heartbreak, my stubborn, willful insistence on closing him out because he hurt me. Then I breathe out with forgiveness, love, and acceptance that you can only be hurt so deeply by those you love. And that the real lesson here isn’t to never date a doctor; it’s to let love in, no matter how much it scares you that you could be hurt. Because it’s worth it.
Being a nurse, I’m well trained in being careful with the language that I use. Words have power. They can keep someone calm. Or they can freak someone the fuck out when they’re in a bad place. They can keep someone at a distance. Or they can bring them close. It’s why I resisted when he suggested I call him by his first name. I was keeping him at a distance. But apparently my subconscious has been telling me this whole time that I shouldn’t do that.
Giving yourself permission to fall for someone is hard. Well, terrifying, really,” he amends. “But sometimes we have to let go of how we think things should go and just let them happen. It’s the simplest and most difficult part of giving a relationship a go.
I just want her to look at me and know that she's not just beautiful because of the strength she tries to project, but also because of the things she thinks make her look weak.