When you own a car, you want to keep it looking good, maybe even give it a wash once a week. When you own a house, you try to keep it maintained and don't let the rot set in. When we own something, we look after it. We need to make the same choices with our bodies.
I am proud to be called the Queen of Mean, and I never mince my words - especially when it comes to fat people.
A state school class can only learn as fast as its thickest child. Your kid misses stuff, mine has to wait while yours catches up.
As much as I love a smart kid who can spell nicely, I love a giggling kid wrapped in loo roll pretending to be a mummy even more.
Why am I not just some old woman ranting in a room? I think because what I say connects with people's truths.
Nothing makes me want to scream louder than oldies doddering on to a train at a slow shuffle when the rest of us are just trying to get on with our day.
Those who are most pious and noble tend to be the least tolerant.
If you are confiding in someone, it needs to be the woman in your life. If that woman is your mother, you may as well scuttle back under her petticoats and let the real women in pencil skirts and tortuous heels get on with the job of husband-hunting.
I love Remembrance Sunday.
Social class has worked for years. Born into the right family, go to the right schools, even if you're not super bright to start with, you'll turn out bright. You go to the right university, you get the right job, you have the right connections, you'll make it to the top. Job done, very efficient.
It's good that fat schoolchildren are no longer bullied, but it's worrying if they feel it's OK to be large because no one is pointing it out.
Remembering servicemen and women who lost their lives for their country is not about you. It is not about your rights or what you believe in. It is about respect.
I think you can tell a great deal from a name. For me, there are certain names that I hear, and I think, 'Urgh.' For me, a name is a shortcut of finding out what class that child comes from and makes me ask, 'Do I want my children to play with them?'
Scarcity is a good sales tactic if you are selling something people want.
Stay-at-home mums love working mums to feel guilty. They sacrificed everything for their children.
Ladies, I urge you never to buy a black bathroom suite. 'CBB' decided this would be glamorous. 'CBB' was wrong.
I have seen many a tear-strewn individual during my time working on daytime TV's morning sofas: individuals encouraged to share their views, ill prepared for the backlash that social media will deliver direct to you, unregulated and unrelenting.
Many teachers seem to believe their opinions are right, and therefore, all other viewpoints are wrong. And they are indoctrinating our children with their beliefs.
Weird things happen when strange men run for election. See Donald Trump for details.
As parenting goes, knowing the whereabouts of one's children is pretty fundamental.