'The David Letterman Show' is a show of comedy.
I've jumped out of an airplane 34 times. I've dove 212 feet under water. I've done a lot of things that defied death.
The thing is, and Americans are starting to realize this now, that while street gangs are violent, the Democrats and Republicans are worse. They are worse because their decisions affect your life.
Disabled people need more invested in their education, housing, job training, transportation, assistive technology, and independent-living facilities. Governments earn back this investment - and more - by making people with disabilities economically productive citizens.
I think a person who is disabled should be disabled by no act of their own. If you become disabled because of alcoholism, drugs, or things of that nature, I do not think those conditions qualify someone to be called disabled. I think those conditions result from personal decisions.
When you drink fluoridated water, you're drinking liquid Prozac. You drink enough of it, even though it's a small amount, drink it for decades and decades and what does Prozac do to you? It dumbs you down; it makes you docile.
I'm against the draft. I believe we should have a professional military; it might be smaller, but it would be more effective.
Government works less efficiently when it begins to grow out of control and takes on more and more of the responsibilities that belong to the citizens.
I would give the people of America to their first opportunity to elect a president who doesn't belong to either party since George Washington.
I don't think I would want the responsibility for enforcing the death penalties. There's always the inevitable question of whether someone you gave the order to execute might truly have been innocent.
Are you familiar with 9/11? Building 7? You know what was in there? All the Enron stuff. I guess that building went down on its own.
I'm an equal opportunity despiser.
When the Constitution gave us the right to bear arms, it also made us responsible for using them properly. It's not fair of us as citizens to lean more heavily on one side of that equation than on the other.
There's no question that we need tougher drunk-driving laws for repeat offenders. We need to take a lesson from European countries where driving isn't a right but a privilege.
WikiLeaks is exposing our government officials for the frauds that they are. They also show us how governments work together to lie to their citizens when they are waging war.
We're the Fascist States of America today, not the United States of America, because the corporations are in power.
If you work for the federal government, the average salary is $7,000 higher than the private sector. Something's wrong with that, when you're making more money working for the government than you can working in the private sector.
If I were an innocent individual, flown to a foreign country and held for several years and tortured, I'd become a terrorist, too. I'd go to war against the U.S.
Monsanto can do anything they want to you, and put anything they want into your foods. There's nothing you can do about it.
There are lots of people out there who think they know the truth about God and religion, but does anybody really know for sure? That's why the founding fathers built freedom of religious belief into the structure of this nation, so that everybody could make up their minds for themselves.