The change is a fickle thing, it never works the way you want it to be. Hell, you can only control one end of it, the other end is loose and free. And that other end is going to drive you nuts!
Your heart does have a mind. Allow it to speak. Soon you would regain confidence in your feelings. And begin to live in the Free manner, you have always dreamt to be!
Giving is worthy only when it's an exchange. That is something is getting out so that something else, more wonderful can be allowed to get in. Remember taking in Oxygen and giving out Carbon Dioxide!! That's how you should feel when you Give.