One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries.
You will be better advised to watch what we do instead of what we say.
The Old Testament is responsible for more atheism, agnosticism, disbelief - call it what you will - than any book ever written. It has emptied more churches than all the counter-attractions of cinema, motor-bicycle and golf course.
Is 'The Wind in the Willows' a children's book? Is 'Alice in Wonderland?' Is 'Treasure Island?' These are masterpieces which we read with pleasure as children, but with how much more pleasure when we are grown-up.
A clever conjurer is welcome anywhere, and those of us whose powers of entertainment are limited to the setting of booby-traps or the arranging of apple-pie beds must view with envy the much greater tribute of laughter and applause which is the lot of the prestidigitator with some natural gift for legerdemain.
Bores can be divided into two classes; those who have their own particular subject, and those who do not need a subject.
Don't underestimate the value of doing nothing, of just going along, listening to all the thing you can't hear, and not bothering.
Almost anyone can be an author; the business is to collect money and fame from this state of being.
The third-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the majority. The second-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the minority. The first-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking.
War is something of man's own fostering, and if all mankind renounces it, then it is no longer there.
Tiggers don't like honey.
If one is to be called a liar, one may as well make an effort to deserve the name.
It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words, like 'What about lunch?'
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.
Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it is not all mixed up.
A writer wants something more than money for his work: he wants permanence.
What I say is that, if a fellow really likes potatoes, he must be a pretty decent sort of fellow.
I gave up writing children's books. I wanted to escape from them as I had once wanted to escape from 'Punch': as I have always wanted to escape. In vain.
I suppose that every one of us hopes secretly for immortality; to leave, I mean, a name behind him which will live forever in this world, whatever he may be doing, himself, in the next.
My spelling is Wobbly. It's good spelling but it Wobbles, and the letters get in the wrong places.