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When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn't like it. I had to get even. One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, 'It's a little cloudy.' I took the tube from her and said, 'Let me run it through again,' and drank it. The nurse fainted.
— Alan King
Tags: like, hospital, me, morning

Other Quotes by "Alan King"

I can't stay friends with anyone who doesn't have a passion for something; and, generally speaking, artistic people, creative people carry it right into the kitchen, too. They have a zest for life; the excitement of living. All of the great eaters I've known are also men of great wit.
— Alan King
Tags: passion, people, great, life
When I was a kid, I used to send away for those ventriloquist kits on the back of comic books.
— Alan King
Tags: away, those, books, back
A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat!
— Alan King
Tags: tried, eat, us, holiday
Smoked salmon is for dinner. Belly lox is for breakfast. Don't get that mixed up.
— Alan King
Tags: up, get, breakfast, dinner
You only live once, except for Shirley MacLaine.
— Alan King
Tags: once, only, live, you
View More by "Alan King"
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