The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.
God help those who do not help themselves.
I've had ample contact with lawyers, and I'm convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own.
If you count all your assets you always show a profit.
Do not be desirous of having things done quickly. Do not look at small advantages. Desire to have things done quickly prevents their being done thoroughly. Looking at small advantages prevents great affairs from being accomplished.
I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the one that begins, 'Have you read - .'
I hate careless flattery, the kind that exhausts you in your efforts to believe it.
There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless.
All anger is not sinful, because some degree of it, and on some occasions, is inevitable. But it becomes sinful and contradicts the rule of Scripture when it is conceived upon slight and inadequate provocation, and when it continues long.
The cuckoo who is on to himself is halfway out of the clock.
A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions.
To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.
Popularity is exhausting. The life of the party almost always winds up in a corner with an overcoat over him.
The difference between chirping out of turn and a faux pas depends on what kind of a bar you're in.
In the battle of existence, Talent is the punch; Tact is the clever footwork.
Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.
To profit from good advice requires more wisdom than to give it.
Most hard-boiled people are half-baked.
A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant.
You sparkle with larceny.
