Iâve always seen this in you, ever since you were a little girl â this hunger to love other people into their highest selves and itâs what has made me irreversibly and just so forever in love with you.
Please⊠Whoever you are, whatever you are⊠I believe in you even though I donât completely understand you. I feel you around me even though I canât exactly describe what Iâm feeling. Sometimes things happen to me and I know that youâre there and Iâm humbled by the lack of coincidence that exists in the world. Whatever you want from me, itâs yours â just please help me. You know how I get when I lose control, and I find myself constantly being pulled back there these days.
I feel a resurgence of my 6-year-old self⊠that little warrior, goddess of a girl reminding me of who I was when I was little, before the world got its hands on me.
I know that this process of âme changing my lifeâ doesnât just end once I set fire to this list of things I hate about myself. Tonight isnât as much of a new beginning as it is a violent end and I know the real work hasnât even started yet.
Iâm going to follow this invisible red thread until I find myself again⊠until I finally figure out⊠who Iâm meant to be.
If ever I was running, it was towards you.
I love him in ways that I canât explain to other people. They donât understand⊠itâs not their fault.
I really believe that there is an invisible red thread tied between him and me, and that it has stretched and tangled for years â across oceans and lifetimes. I know that it wonât break because our souls are tied.
I just want your voice aimed at me again. I want to absorb the direction of your eyesâŠ
Everything hurts right now and nothing is helping because as the pain is getting worse â so is the love.
I want you to trust yourself, baby. Love is all that matters and youâve always known that. Youâve known, since you were a very little girl, what your life is meant to be aboutâŠ
I know that your soul is on life support and that you feel lost and like youâre completely spinning out of control, but youâre finding yourself â here, tonight⊠even in this darkness.