Quotes Tagged "spirituality"

Undoubtedly, you will be subject to the pulls and pressures of everyday living. You will feel angry, left out, let down, jealous, disturbed, fearful and insecure. Events, people, things – any of these can trigger off these debilitating emotions. Don’t resist any of these feelings. Hold them up. And examine them closely. What do they make you feel? Don’t they make you intensely unhappy? If they do, let them go. Anything, or anyone, that makes you unhappy does not have a place in your Life. Know that you have a choice to walk away from them or throw them out. Exercise that choice. This is personal leadership. This is why happiness is an intensely personal choice.

What must come to you, for you, always finds its way to you...

When someone lets you down or chooses to disagree with you, your anger, your grief, arises from their behavior. Or so you believe. But if you observe your thoughts closely, you will find that it is your mind that rushes off immediately to demand: “How dare they treat me like this?” So, essentially, it is your expectation of that person, that they must behave in certain way that is causing you agony. Just drop that expectation. And you will not have any suffering on account of anyone or their actions anymore. Herein lies the secret to remaining unmoved, detached and dispassionate about what others are saying or doing to you. This is the way you protect your inner peace and happiness.

You are unlikely to find the perfect Life that you want. Even so, you can live fully with what you have, with what you have been given. And you do that by looking Life squarely in the eye, by facing it and by accepting what is, by learning to be happy despite the circumstances.

Sometimes the best way to deal with a broken family is to leave its members to be at peace within their own broken worlds. When each one is at peace with who they are, with the problems they are dealing with and are not sure of the way forward, then letting things be, just be, is a sane option. At least each one is individually at peace. And that’s no small miracle! People being born into a family does not necessarily ensure that they stay together. It takes trust and transparency to build and nurture families. When these values cease to exist, merely coming together under a roof is a lie. It achieves no purpose!

If it is meant for you, it will come to you. It will find you and reach you. So, don’t despair when, despite your best intention and effort, something does not happen the way you envisioned it and planned it. Take it easy. Of course, you have every right to have an intention, put forth a plan and execute it, but you have no right to insist that just because you did all that you must get what you want. The outcomes are never in your hand. The idea that you deserve something is what you have grown within you. So, drop that idea. Just do your bit, and do it well, in any situation. And leave the results, the outcomes, to Life. If you must get it, you will. When you do, be grateful for Life’s compassion. When you don’t, be accepting of Life’s verdict.

The ability to “take Life as it comes” is a blessing. This wisdom can only come from having experienced pain and from understanding the power of acceptance.

Over time I have realized that having an honest conversation over a complex issue with someone is never difficult provided you are given an equal opportunity to present your views. Which is, as long as there is dignity and decorum between the parties concerned, the conversation is relevant and possible. You state what you have to. They state what they have to. You may both agree or disagree but both parties respect each other’s points of view and stay focused on resolving the issue on hand. But the moment someone tries to demonstrate power or is being deceitful, the conversation has lost its purpose. Then you must simply leave the conversation. There is no point in trying to counter the other party’s machinations while ruining your inner peace. Sometimes, the best way to make an important point is not to say anything at all.

Life’s intrinsic nature is magical and beautiful. But you will discover that magic and beauty only when you learn to embrace pain. Now, you can’t negotiate with pain – it comes unannounced and uninvited; you can’t postpone it either. So, you simply have to accept it. When you embrace pain, Life reveals its true Self to you – of how compassionate it is, giving you what you need most – including your pain – so that you can grow and evolve. So that you learn to be happy despite your circumstances. So that you live fully, happily, with what is…

Sit calmly. Take a few moments out for yourself. Look at your own Life dispassionately. And reflect on these perspectives: Is there any point in worrying; do you think you can solve any of your problems by worrying about them? Is there any point in being frustrated and angry about the way your Life has turned out to be; is there any point holding yourself or others for what has happened? Is there any point in asking Life “why” or “why me”; are you even likely to get any answers from asking Life questions? When you realize the futility of worrying, frustration and suffering, you will learn to let go and trust the process of Life. That is when you will be truly happy despite your circumstances.

Your mind’s first response to a problem situation is to deny its very existence. But being in denial mode simply means that you don’t see the problem although it exists; which means the problem is hurting you, but you don’t recognize it. When you finally acknowledge the presence of the problem, you hate it. You want it to go away. And when it doesn’t, you are over-anxious to solve it. But some problems defy human intelligence and logical solutions. They stay on, they frustrate you and leave you feeling miserable. The simple, intelligent approach to dealing with problems is to first accept them, rather than deny their existence, and then go to work on solving them. Realize that denying the presence of a problem does not mean the problem does not exist. Every problem has arrived with a specific Purpose – to teach you invaluable Life lessons, to make you stronger, wiser and happy!

Take it as it comes. Always. The beauty of Life lies in its unpredictability. Its starkness may be difficult to stomach at times but it is what it is. The only way to deal with reality is to embrace it and to go with the flow. You may plan, envision and strategize but ultimately Life alone has its way, its say. You must merely submit to that way and go with the flow. When you hate what is, it causes grief, anger, stress and suffering. But when you take it as it comes, Life is simpler even if it is not any easier!

Understand the futility of hurting and being vengeful. What is the point with either? Someone has wronged you. And they have done it only because they saw it as right. Your getting even with them will only make you suffer more. It is not going to make them any better or realize that they have wronged you. Instead, they are going to retaliate. And then the process of vengeance will go on and on…never ending. You carry a hurt only as long as you think about the person that caused it as someone who has wronged you. Instead think of that someone as one who is lost in Life, who knows not what he or she is doing. And then watch your anger, your hurt, transform into something beautiful and liberating for you – forgiveness!

Life happens at its own pace and in its own time. It has a mind of its own. Your rushing through it only increases your stress levels and makes you anxious. You can do nothing to Life. At all times, in all contexts, you are never in control – Life is! And all you can and must do is to learn to live fully with what is. This does not mean inaction – trusting the process of Life is a lot of action; of keeping the faith and being patient. So, sit quietly doing whatever you can in a given context. And whatever must happen alone will happen; whatever is due to you alone will flow to you…on its own. When you are calm, you are non-worrying, non-frustrated and non-suffering and only when you are in this state will you see how perfect your Life really is!

Oh! But training the mind isn’t easy…” Surely, Life is not easy. Getting through this lifetime is never easy. So, training the mind is not going to be achieved without dedication and diligence. But just as the body can be trained, the mind too can be taught how to live in the present moment. You see, the mind thrives only when it is stuck in the dead past or when it races into the unborn future. In those two states it is constantly spewing thoughts of anger, grief, guilt, anxiety, worry, fear and stress. But when trained to live in the now, the mind is powerless. That is how you learn to be non-worrying, non-frustrated, non-suffering, to be happy! You can either train your mind, and employ equanimity and happiness to deal with Life’s upheavals, or you can continue to cite the ‘it-is-not-easy’ excuse and be unhappy! Your call!

Are you living an unhappy Life while trying to make everyone around you happy? You want to make an unconventional personal – career or relationship – choice but you refuse to, because you are considering how your family will feel about it. Or you are keeping a job only to earn-a-living so you can meet the wants of those around you. Or you are not expressing yourself honestly in a relationship because you don’t want to hurt the other person. Whatever be your context, if you are choosing to be unhappy, only so that someone else is happy, well, then, you have lost the plot! How you are feeling alone impacts your happiness. Your feeling unhappy and being a martyr means you are squandering the Life that you have been given. Life is not a popularity contest. Being unhappy while wanting to be ‘nice’ is a poor choice you make.

When you are driven by Purpose, focus on living that Purpose every single day. Why are doing what you are doing is more important than what you have achieved, where you have reached. Yes, the human mind will play games with you. It will make you feel inadequate. It will make you imagine that the progress you make is not enough given the enormity of what you have set out to do. But believe in the Power of One…in your individual ability to impact the Life of another individual…one day at a time. How have I lived my day today? Have I lived by the why of what I do? Have I taken my vehicle forward in the direction in which I am headed? These are the only questions that need to be asked and the only ones that matter! Keep the focus, keep it basic, keep it purposeful…when you have Integrity of Purpose, all else will always follow!

Invest in experiences not things. Surely, build an asset and savings base for a rainy day. But don’t kid yourself thinking you are really ‘secure’ and ‘settled’ just because you have money. Anything can happen in Life – that too, in a nano-second! Besides, as you age, you will realize that what you can do when you are 20, you really can’t do when you are 40! Which is why, invest in experiences, in doing what you love doing. Your experiences shape you. They intricately weave your learnings from each experience with your idea of Happiness to create a beautiful fabric that stays in your subconscious even when people and things around you perish over time. In the end, what will count most in your Life, are who you loved, how you were loved back and how you enjoyed doing all that you loved doing!

Don't imagine you are in a worse place than you actually are. Things could have been far worse. So, seize the day, count your blessings and move on. You can survive a crisis only by dealing it with one day at a time. Don't add up all your problems in your mind and think you are finished. Compartmentalize your problems; put them in different buckets and project-manage them separately. This is how you live through uncertain times – making decisions when there are few or no options to choose from. You never see it this way when you are going through a crisis. But, unfailingly, every crisis leaves you stronger, wiser – and happy!

Sometimes Life will hang you at the edge of the precipice. And fear will grip you. You will not know what to think, say or do. But don’t despair. You see, Life has always been and is intrinsically risky. Your education and your money trick you into a fake sense of security. But look at what Manohar Parrikar, who passed away yesterday, had to say: “You are alone in the final act of the drama when the end of the show is visible. Nothing, and no one, can help you.” Such is Life. It has always been fraught with uncertainty and has never been in your control. So, don’t fear dead-ends or no-go Life situations. Face your fears, gracefully accept the darkness. Learn to hang from that precipitous edge, live dangerously – and when you do that, you will, interestingly, not feel scared, instead you will feel calm, content and happy!