Quotes Tagged "parenthood"

Shannon thought about all the childhood diseases that had been eradicated, but what good did it do? A child's life could still be wiped away in an instant. Why did modern people presume that they would die only in old age? Previous generations hadn't made such a presumption. She also thought about the opportunities of motherhood that were now lost to her. She wished she had said and done more to confirm Marzieh's positive sense of self. She wondered if Marzieh understood how much her mother loved her. On the fifth day things began to improve. Hope was a tiny red fish wiggling through a wide, black, slow-moving river under a dark sky. Shannon leaned over the bow of an old, splintered rowboat adrift in the water in order to greet it.

Faith can be very very dangerous, and deliberately to implant it into the vulnerable mind of an innocent child is a grievous wrong.

In the midst of the affliction He counsels, strengthens confirms, nourishes, and favors us.... More over, when we have repented, He instantly remits the sins as well as the punishments. In the same manner parents ought to handle their children.

My mother delayed my enrollment in the Fascist scouts, the Balilla, as long as possible, firstly because she did not want me to learn how to handle weapons, but also because the meetings that were then held on Sunday mornings (before the Fascist Saturday was instituted) consisted mostly of a Mass in the scouts' chapel. When I had to be enrolled as part of my school duties, she asked that I be excused from the Mass; this was impossible for disciplinary reasons, but my mother saw to it that the chaplain and the commander were aware that I was not a Catholic and that I should not be asked to perform any external acts of devotion in church. In short, I often found myself in situations different from others, looked on as if I were some strange animal. I do not think this harmed me: one gets used to persisting in one's habits, to finding oneself isolated for good reasons, to putting up with the discomfort that this causes, to finding the right way to hold on to positions which are not shared by the majority. But above all I grew up tolerant of others' opinions, particularly in the field of religion, remembering how irksome it was to hear myself mocked because I did not follow the majority's beliefs. And at the same time I have remained totally devoid of that taste for anticlericalism which is so common in those who are educated surrounded by religion. I have insisted on setting down these memories because I see that many non-believing friends let their children have a religious education 'so as not to give them complexes', 'so that they don't feel different from the others.' I believe that this behavior displays a lack of courage which is totally damaging pedagogically. Why should a young child not begin to understand that you can face a small amount of discomfort in order to stay faithful to an idea? And in any case, who said that young people should not have complexes? Complexes arise through a natural attrition with the reality that surrounds us, and when you have complexes you try to overcome them. Life is in fact nothing but this triumphing over one's own complexes, without which the formation of a character and personality does not happen.

Things always show up when they don't arrive.

Parenting was difficult in a world of easy access

Yet despite the complexity of contemporary society, there are still some simple formulas we can use to distill the path to social and economic flourishing. One of these, labeled the “Success Sequence,” and credited to Ron Haskins and Isabel Sawhill of the left-of-center Brookings Institute, proposes a three-step rule book for modern American life: 1. Finish high school. 2. Get a job. (Any job. Because working leads to more working, which leads to better jobs.) 3. Get married before having children. When people follow this pattern—and crucially, in this order—life generally turns out pretty well.

My dad had limitations. That's what my good-hearted mom always told us. He had limitations, but he meant no harm. It was kind of her to say, but he did do harm.

A memory is a ledge on the mountainside of the mind; there we are, drinking and chatting, and on the ledge below us my dad sits in his chair, dead, his face smeared with blood.

Children's as good as 'rithmetic to set you findin' out things.

It wasn't right that you could only understand your parents' pain once you'd experienced the things they had, and by then they were gone.

And one thing you would never want to do is keep your children away from any Tree of Knowledge. How could you punish someone for learning right from wrong, especially when they didn't know right from wrong when they did it? It is a sin to punish someone for learning, and that is something only an imaginary God would do. Instead, your people should grow an orchard of those trees, and eat of that fruit as a staple of their diet. Because whether as a God or simply as a parent, your greatest hope for your children would be that they will know right from wrong, and rather than worship you, and remain under you, you want them to surpass you. You want them to ascend above you, and achieve wisdom beyond the gods.

... the worst possible heritage to leave with children: high spiritual pretensions and low performance.

A wise parent humors the desire for independent action, so as to become the friend and advisor when his absolute rule shall cease.

Our children are only as brilliant as we allow them to be.

There are only three ways to teach a child. The first is by example, the second is by example, the third is by example.

Nations, as well as men, almost always betray the most prominent features of their future destiny in their earliest years.

Los padres de Tom son docentes e intelectuales. Su padre dio clases de Literatura en el Connecticut College durante treinta años. Su madre trabajaba en la secretaría de exalumnos. Vivían y respiraban universidad, y se ufanaban de ser cultos, cosa que se reflejaba en todo lo que hacían y eran. En gran parte era inofensivo, y hasta beneficioso, para Tom y su hermana pequeña, Kathy. Las vacaciones eran siempre de acampada familiar. No les dejaban ver la tele sin supervisión, y solo los fines de semana. Imaginaos lo insulso que era el contenido autorizado. Tenían que leer diez libros por verano, y a colonias nunca iban. Nada de quedarse a dormir en casa de un amigo. Toque de queda estricto, y cada domingo a la iglesia, aunque de religión se hablaba más en términos de teoría y sociología que de pasión y fe. Lo evaluaban y lo analizaban todo, despojándolo de las influencias emocionales que pudieran llevar a creer en una mentira o a actuar de modo erróneo. Seguro que conocéis a gente de este tipo. A los no tan disciplinados les despiertan ganas de zarandearlos hasta que se desprenda alguna emoción, aunque se queden inconscientes. No parecen humanos, a pesar de su tan buen comportamiento. ¿En qué se traducía todo esto para Tom? Si llegaba a casa con sobresalientes, no había euforia, abrazos, besos ni llamadas por teléfono a los abuelos. Nada de monedas para la hucha, ni de postre especial, ni de saltarse una práctica de piano. No pegaban las notas a la nevera, no; las evaluaban y las comentaban, y a Tom le recordaban que sus notas eran un reflejo de lo mucho que había trabajado, y que no se pensara que era mejor o más listo que los otros. Y cuando cantaba en la obra de fin de curso, o anotaba una carrera en el partido de béisbol, o traía un animal de barro pintado de la asignatura de arte, con un vago parecido a una jirafa… Todo lo que hacía Tom era objeto de valoración sincera y desapasionada. En el segundo estribillo has desafinado un poco, Tom. A la primera base has llegado más que nada por suerte, Tom. No te creas que te volverá a pasar. Tienes que practicar más. Hombre, se nota que te has divertido haciéndolo. Sí, ¿verdad? Exacto. Un poco adelantados a su tiempo, precursores de los consejos educativos que nos han endosado durante la pasada década. No hay que estar orgulloso de los hijos. Son ellos los que tienen que enorgullecerse. Tampoco hay que hacer falsos elogios, porque entonces dejan de fiarse de nuestras opiniones. No hay que dejarlos por el mundo creyéndose mejores de lo que son, porque solo servirá para que se lleven una decepción. La verdadera autoestima es la que viene de tener unos padres sinceros. Yo estos disparates los rechazo desde siempre. En eso soy un caso aparte. Somos seres pequeños e insignificantes. Lo único que nos llena, lo que nos da un horizonte, orgullo, sentido del yo, es el lugar que ocupamos en los corazones de la gente. Necesitamos que nos quieran nuestros padres sin condicionantes, sin lógica ni racionalidad. Necesitamos que nos vean a través de un cristal distorsionado por su amor y que nos digan de todas las maneras posibles que los llena de felicidad el mero hecho de que estemos en el mundo. De acuerdo, algún día nos daremos cuenta de que nuestras jirafas de barro no eran magistrales, pero es necesario que nos hagan llorar siempre que las bajemos de nuestros desvanes, sabiendo que cuando nuestros padres veían estos trozos de yeso tan feos sentían un orgullo absurdo y ganas de abrazarnos hasta que nos dolieran los huesos. Es lo que necesitamos de los padres, más que la verdad sobre lo pequeños que somos. Ya habrá gente de sobra que nos lo recuerde y nos ofrezca evaluaciones desapasionadas de nuestra mediocridad.

Let them learn at school whatever they learn to pass the examinations, but at home let the education that you provide be the kind that widens their perceptions and takes away the germs of prejudices that infect them while they are out in the world.

In our society, if someone wants to be a hairstylist or a kickboxer or a hunting guide -or a schoolteacher- he or she must be trained and licensed by a state agency. No such requirement is necessary for parenthood. Anyone with a set of reproductive organs is free to create a child, no questions asked, and raise them as they see fit, so long as there are no visible bruises- and then turn that child over to the school system so the teachers can work their magic. Maybe we are asking too much of the schools and too little of our parents and kids?.