Quotes Tagged "life-lessons"
Sometimes the best way to deal with a broken family is to leave its members to be at peace within their own broken worlds. When each one is at peace with who they are, with the problems they are dealing with and are not sure of the way forward, then letting things be, just be, is a sane option. At least each one is individually at peace. And that’s no small miracle! People being born into a family does not necessarily ensure that they stay together. It takes trust and transparency to build and nurture families. When these values cease to exist, merely coming together under a roof is a lie. It achieves no purpose!
If it is meant for you, it will come to you. It will find you and reach you. So, don’t despair when, despite your best intention and effort, something does not happen the way you envisioned it and planned it. Take it easy. Of course, you have every right to have an intention, put forth a plan and execute it, but you have no right to insist that just because you did all that you must get what you want. The outcomes are never in your hand. The idea that you deserve something is what you have grown within you. So, drop that idea. Just do your bit, and do it well, in any situation. And leave the results, the outcomes, to Life. If you must get it, you will. When you do, be grateful for Life’s compassion. When you don’t, be accepting of Life’s verdict.
Pain is not a monster that is out to annihilate you as is popularly believed. Pain is a great teacher. While you can’t avoid pain, it teaches you, through your acceptance of any Life situation, that suffering is optional; that there is a lot of Life during and after a crisis. Truly, acceptance of a painful situation is the only way to deal with it.
Over time I have realized that having an honest conversation over a complex issue with someone is never difficult provided you are given an equal opportunity to present your views. Which is, as long as there is dignity and decorum between the parties concerned, the conversation is relevant and possible. You state what you have to. They state what they have to. You may both agree or disagree but both parties respect each other’s points of view and stay focused on resolving the issue on hand. But the moment someone tries to demonstrate power or is being deceitful, the conversation has lost its purpose. Then you must simply leave the conversation. There is no point in trying to counter the other party’s machinations while ruining your inner peace. Sometimes, the best way to make an important point is not to say anything at all.
Intelligent living simply means recognizing the perishable nature of Life and choosing not to postpone Happiness. It means focusing only on what matters most to you, on what you love doing. A simple beginning can be made by investing in your “Me Time”, in one hour on yourself daily – start with your health and with what you are deeply passionate about, what makes you come alive! When you do create that one hour for yourself, you will, magically, see how you gain control of the remaining 23 hours of the day!
Not reacting with anger, but responding with compassion and equanimity, is a personal choice. Particularly so, in an explosive situation, when someone is provoking you, by trampling all over your self-esteem. How can you employ compassion when someone is spewing venom? Well, if you observe their behavior closely, someone causing you pain and anguish is actually suffering a lot within themselves. Their thoughts and actions are only reflecting their distressed state of mind. They surely know not what they are doing. So, respond – don’t react – with compassion. Ahimsa is not just non-violent action. It includes non-violent thought as well. Respond with ahimsa – that’s the best way to disarm your ‘opponent’! When you leave the other party guessing, as to why you are not striking back, you have won the battle without even fighting it. Isn’t that a great way to be protect your inner peace and profit from it?
Life’s intrinsic nature is magical and beautiful. But you will discover that magic and beauty only when you learn to embrace pain. Now, you can’t negotiate with pain – it comes unannounced and uninvited; you can’t postpone it either. So, you simply have to accept it. When you embrace pain, Life reveals its true Self to you – of how compassionate it is, giving you what you need most – including your pain – so that you can grow and evolve. So that you learn to be happy despite your circumstances. So that you live fully, happily, with what is…
Sit calmly. Take a few moments out for yourself. Look at your own Life dispassionately. And reflect on these perspectives: Is there any point in worrying; do you think you can solve any of your problems by worrying about them? Is there any point in being frustrated and angry about the way your Life has turned out to be; is there any point holding yourself or others for what has happened? Is there any point in asking Life “why” or “why me”; are you even likely to get any answers from asking Life questions? When you realize the futility of worrying, frustration and suffering, you will learn to let go and trust the process of Life. That is when you will be truly happy despite your circumstances.
Your mind’s first response to a problem situation is to deny its very existence. But being in denial mode simply means that you don’t see the problem although it exists; which means the problem is hurting you, but you don’t recognize it. When you finally acknowledge the presence of the problem, you hate it. You want it to go away. And when it doesn’t, you are over-anxious to solve it. But some problems defy human intelligence and logical solutions. They stay on, they frustrate you and leave you feeling miserable. The simple, intelligent approach to dealing with problems is to first accept them, rather than deny their existence, and then go to work on solving them. Realize that denying the presence of a problem does not mean the problem does not exist. Every problem has arrived with a specific Purpose – to teach you invaluable Life lessons, to make you stronger, wiser and happy!
Take it as it comes. Always. The beauty of Life lies in its unpredictability. Its starkness may be difficult to stomach at times but it is what it is. The only way to deal with reality is to embrace it and to go with the flow. You may plan, envision and strategize but ultimately Life alone has its way, its say. You must merely submit to that way and go with the flow. When you hate what is, it causes grief, anger, stress and suffering. But when you take it as it comes, Life is simpler even if it is not any easier!
Understand the futility of hurting and being vengeful. What is the point with either? Someone has wronged you. And they have done it only because they saw it as right. Your getting even with them will only make you suffer more. It is not going to make them any better or realize that they have wronged you. Instead, they are going to retaliate. And then the process of vengeance will go on and on…never ending. You carry a hurt only as long as you think about the person that caused it as someone who has wronged you. Instead think of that someone as one who is lost in Life, who knows not what he or she is doing. And then watch your anger, your hurt, transform into something beautiful and liberating for you – forgiveness!
When your Life’s Purpose comes calling, nothing else will matter! It will embrace you and you will be drawn into it. This is because your Purpose is the reason for your creation. You see, money is a human invention; you were not created to just make money. You were created to be happy, to serve, to make the world a better place. Which is why, your Purpose is also referred to as your “calling”. Truly, your Purpose is calling you! Step out of your earning-a-living bubble and allow your Purpose to lead you onward. Witness then, magically, how doors open, how the relevant people walk into your Life and how you end up doing all that you love doing and are meant to do. When you live a Life of Purpose, you live happily despite the circumstances.
People drift apart after falling in love and getting married because they compartmentalize their lives – one part that was before the marriage and the other that is after the marriage. So, the event of a marriage places a full stop; it ends one phase of the relationship and begins another. This full stop is unnecessary. In Life, everything new soon starts seeming and feeling old; romance then receives lower priority because the courtship is over, the marriage is done, dusted – and in some cases, sadly, dead too. That’s why people who fall in love, fall out of love too. But what if you imagine that the marriage never happened? Won’t the loving be continuous then? Great companionships thrive when you never let marriage take centerstage. Treat marriage, if at all you must marry, like just another date in your courtship calendar. That’s how the loving is ongoing, it is flowing.
Each of us has to go through what we have to go through. And what we go through makes us who we are. If you are dealing with a crisis just now, know that your own journey is surely leading you to your awakening, to your enlightenment. But you may wonder why does an awakening, or enlightenment, often come through such intense strife and pain? Well, such is Life! We must celebrate this suchness of Life! It is after trying many different mantras, methods, practices and after experiencing every emotion in its entirety that you come to understanding, soaking in, and celebrating the suchness of Life. That is how you learn the art of being non-worrying, non-frustrated and non-suffering. That is how you find Happiness in what is and learn to live fully despite your challenged circumstances!
Your role is to travel in the direction of what you believe in, what you love doing. And Life’s job is to get you there. Everyone – and every thing – that you need will always arrive, in time, to get you to where you must arrive!
How do you last a torrid time in Life? 1. Accept the reality that you are in the throes of a crisis. Stop wishing that it didn’t exist. Acceptance always delivers inner peace. 2. Know that the storm will always be strong. By even thinking of its ferocity, you are only going to feel debilitated. At the epicenter of a storm, it is always calm. Find that center, your center. That’s where you will find strength. 3. Your center is where you lose sense of time, place and thought. Art – anything inherent that makes you come alive – often leads you there. 4. Trust the process of Life. Do what you can do without losing your inner peace – daily, diligently. 5. No matter how intense it is, no storm lasts forever. All storms pass. So, be patient, surrender completely, let go…and offer yourself to be led by Life…
Life happens at its own pace and in its own time. It has a mind of its own. Your rushing through it only increases your stress levels and makes you anxious. You can do nothing to Life. At all times, in all contexts, you are never in control – Life is! And all you can and must do is to learn to live fully with what is. This does not mean inaction – trusting the process of Life is a lot of action; of keeping the faith and being patient. So, sit quietly doing whatever you can in a given context. And whatever must happen alone will happen; whatever is due to you alone will flow to you…on its own. When you are calm, you are non-worrying, non-frustrated and non-suffering and only when you are in this state will you see how perfect your Life really is!
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