Don’t feed your insecurities, your fears, your worries. Invest your time, attention, energy and resources only in your Happiness, in what makes you truly come alive. Remember, this is the only Life you have!
It is only one Life that you have; just this one lifetime! So, please don’t postpone Happiness, don’t postpone living. Of course, you can’t avoid the lows, the crises, the tragedies. But you can learn to be happy despite the circumstances. You do that by accepting whatever comes your way and by letting go of debilitating emotions. Remember: only when you let go of something can you receive another…clinging on never helps…so, to receive grace and abundance…let go, let go, let go…of all that makes you unhappy and…simply flow with Life!
You have to believe in what you do surely. And you must not compromise on how you express yourself through what you are doing, what you are sharing. Most definitely, you must not compromise for any gain, material gain particularly! This is the key to Happiness.
The dominant strain of the twentieth century, whether emanating from Marx or Freud, has been self-awareness; we have lost the art of forgetting ourselves. Which means we have little chance of being happy, since so much of happiness consists of inner peace; of playing ostrich, in fact. To say nothing of the fact that all this psychological self-consciousness is rather vulgar...
Undoubtedly, you will be subject to the pulls and pressures of everyday living. You will feel angry, left out, let down, jealous, disturbed, fearful and insecure. Events, people, things – any of these can trigger off these debilitating emotions. Don’t resist any of these feelings. Hold them up. And examine them closely. What do they make you feel? Don’t they make you intensely unhappy? If they do, let them go. Anything, or anyone, that makes you unhappy does not have a place in your Life. Know that you have a choice to walk away from them or throw them out. Exercise that choice. This is personal leadership. This is why happiness is an intensely personal choice.
Over time I have realized that having an honest conversation over a complex issue with someone is never difficult provided you are given an equal opportunity to present your views. Which is, as long as there is dignity and decorum between the parties concerned, the conversation is relevant and possible. You state what you have to. They state what they have to. You may both agree or disagree but both parties respect each other’s points of view and stay focused on resolving the issue on hand. But the moment someone tries to demonstrate power or is being deceitful, the conversation has lost its purpose. Then you must simply leave the conversation. There is no point in trying to counter the other party’s machinations while ruining your inner peace. Sometimes, the best way to make an important point is not to say anything at all.
Life’s intrinsic nature is magical and beautiful. But you will discover that magic and beauty only when you learn to embrace pain. Now, you can’t negotiate with pain – it comes unannounced and uninvited; you can’t postpone it either. So, you simply have to accept it. When you embrace pain, Life reveals its true Self to you – of how compassionate it is, giving you what you need most – including your pain – so that you can grow and evolve. So that you learn to be happy despite your circumstances. So that you live fully, happily, with what is…
Life happens at its own pace and in its own time. It has a mind of its own. Your rushing through it only increases your stress levels and makes you anxious. You can do nothing to Life. At all times, in all contexts, you are never in control – Life is! And all you can and must do is to learn to live fully with what is. This does not mean inaction – trusting the process of Life is a lot of action; of keeping the faith and being patient. So, sit quietly doing whatever you can in a given context. And whatever must happen alone will happen; whatever is due to you alone will flow to you…on its own. When you are calm, you are non-worrying, non-frustrated and non-suffering and only when you are in this state will you see how perfect your Life really is!
Don’t resist your pain, embrace it. It is normal to run away from pain – to hate it, to question why it is there in the first place. That is when – and how – you invite suffering into your Life. You suffer only because you wish your Life is different from what it is. Instead, accept your pain. When you hold up your pain and feel its intensity, you will realize that it is teaching you unputdownable Life lessons. At this time, if you choose to express your feelings through your art – anything…painting, music, cooking, gardening, writing…do whatever makes you come alive – magic and beauty will flow through you! Look around you – every work of art out there is a product of someone’s pain and their choice to express how they felt while enduring it. So, employ your pain to create something of lasting value and relevance! The world is waiting…
Invest in experiences not things. Surely, build an asset and savings base for a rainy day. But don’t kid yourself thinking you are really ‘secure’ and ‘settled’ just because you have money. Anything can happen in Life – that too, in a nano-second! Besides, as you age, you will realize that what you can do when you are 20, you really can’t do when you are 40! Which is why, invest in experiences, in doing what you love doing. Your experiences shape you. They intricately weave your learnings from each experience with your idea of Happiness to create a beautiful fabric that stays in your subconscious even when people and things around you perish over time. In the end, what will count most in your Life, are who you loved, how you were loved back and how you enjoyed doing all that you loved doing!
Responsible citizenship is about trusteeship. Think of trusteeship like this. You are a trustee of the Life that’s been given to you. And you are a trustee of the planet that you inhabit. So be responsible with how you live and how you use the planet’s resources. Recognize that you need only so much to live and to support your immediate family. Beyond food, clothing, shelter, education, a reasonable healthcare and retirement plan and hi-speed internet connectivity through a smart device, whatever you have, whatever comes your way, give it away. Give, not because you have to give, not because you are asked to give, but give because you want to give. Recognize that just as this human form, this Life, is a gift, every thing, every resource that you acquire in this lifetime, is also given to you. So, be responsible by employing all that you receive for human good, to make the world a better place.
Don't imagine you are in a worse place than you actually are. Things could have been far worse. So, seize the day, count your blessings and move on. You can survive a crisis only by dealing it with one day at a time. Don't add up all your problems in your mind and think you are finished. Compartmentalize your problems; put them in different buckets and project-manage them separately. This is how you live through uncertain times – making decisions when there are few or no options to choose from. You never see it this way when you are going through a crisis. But, unfailingly, every crisis leaves you stronger, wiser – and happy!
Don’t think about what has not happened. What has not happened has not happened. Simple. It has not arrived. So why worry, why fear? Of course, when it comes into your Life, you have to, and must, deal with it. But why lose your precious present, your sleep, thinking about the unborn future? Living in the now is not an art. It is an absolute necessity for you to be happy. It is like breathing. You (can) breathe only in the now – your having breathed in the past is over, it is done with; and your breathing in the future is irrelevant at the moment. The only Life you have is what you have in the now. So, stay here. Be present. Be happy with what is.
Sometimes Life will hang you at the edge of the precipice. And fear will grip you. You will not know what to think, say or do. But don’t despair. You see, Life has always been and is intrinsically risky. Your education and your money trick you into a fake sense of security. But look at what Manohar Parrikar, who passed away yesterday, had to say: “You are alone in the final act of the drama when the end of the show is visible. Nothing, and no one, can help you.” Such is Life. It has always been fraught with uncertainty and has never been in your control. So, don’t fear dead-ends or no-go Life situations. Face your fears, gracefully accept the darkness. Learn to hang from that precipitous edge, live dangerously – and when you do that, you will, interestingly, not feel scared, instead you will feel calm, content and happy!
Acceptance does not necessarily help you solve a problem. But acceptance helps you immensely in dealing with it, in making you non-suffering. When you resist a situation, you are fighting it. Whatever you resist, will fight back. Such is Life. All your suffering comes from wishing that your Life is different from what it is. So, in addition to the intense pain that the situation has thrown up, you have now invited suffering into your Life by wishing that the painful situation did not exist in the first place. Instead, embrace the situation. Gracefully accept your Life for what it is. Then, slowly, very slowly, time heals, peeling off layer after layer of suffering, as you understand the futility of prolonged sadness. As your suffering and sadness dissolve, you feel repaired, happy and at peace with your new reality.
Everything happens in its own time, place and pace. You may wish for something to happen. Or you may wish against its happening. But you cannot force the outcome. What has to happen alone happens – always! So, go with the flow. Understand that it is what it is. Accept every happening in your Life that you didn’t want, and which you dislike, as your new normal and keep going. This is what intelligent living is all about. It doesn’t change any reality but frees you from unhappiness, from misery. It helps you anchor in peace and be happy no matter how challenging your circumstances are.