Contentment is the highest spiritual discipline. Egyes and meditation, or knowledge of scripture and Vedanta (ancient holy scriptures of the world) can help you reach the goal as quickly as contentment can. Contentment has a four happiness, it extinguishes the ego and expand the knowledge.
If you want happiness, practice breathing exercise. If you want joy, reduce your desires and expand your vision. If you want peace, reduce your ego and love your Self. If you want protection, keep the gap for doing physical relationship like twice in a week or less than that and expand knowledge through spiritual practice
I am smiling a big adopted-orphan smile as I write this ... I still love scribbling the word - WRITER - any time on a form, questionnaire, document asks for my occupation. Fine, I write personality quizzes, I don't write about the Great Issues of the Day, but I think it's fair to say I am a writer ... ('Adopted-orphan smile', I mean, that's not bad, come on.)
Diversity of character is due to the unequal time given to values. Only through each other will we see the importance of the qualities we lack and our unfinished soul's potential.
If one does not make an ego out of gender, one would still know whether one is a man or a woman, gay, straight, bisexual, transgender—whatever else we may think of. But those identities need to fit very loosely and be worn very lightly. All sense of privilege or deprivation that has developed around one’s gender identity, all rigidity regarding proper roles and behaviors for the various genders, must be cut through.
Chasing a person doesn’t give you value or build values in you. You earn your value by chasing morality and practicing dignity.
Often we take personally the slings and arrows of our 'abusers'. But frequently we are merely the interchangeable pawns of their own neurotic dramas. Anyone else in your position would have received the same treatment. There is nothing especially noxious or negatively noteworthy about you.