Aren't most romance heros, or heros in fiction of any kind, generally superior to real men? Same goes for heroines and real women.
I don't think you can write - at least not well - if you don't love stories, love the written word.
In the summer of '80, Silhouette bought my first book.
Action, reaction, motivation, emotion, all have to come from the characters. Writing a love scene requires the same elements from the writer as any other.
Mary Stewart will always be my goddess. I can pick up one of her early books - one I've read a dozen times - and still slide right into the story.
I don't fiddle or edit or change while I'm going through that first draft.