The tombstone is about the only thing that can stand upright and lie on its face at the same time.

He who devotes sixteen hours a day to hard study may become at sixty as wise as he thought himself at twenty.

Politeness is only one half good manners and the other half good lying.

A youth with his first cigar makes himself sick; a youth with his first girl makes other people sick.

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.