Sometimes I see it and then paint it. Other times I paint it and then see it. Both are impure situations, and I prefer neither.
As one gets older one sees many more paths that could be taken. Artists sense within their own work that kind of swelling of possibilities, which may seem a freedom or a confusion.
To do a drawing for a painting most often means doing something very sketchy and schematic and then later making it polished.
I have no ideas about what the paintings imply about the world. I don't think that's a painter's business. He just paints paintings without a conscious reason.
I don't know how to organise thoughts. I don't know how to have thoughts.
The only logical thing I can think of is that I knew there were such things as artists, and I knew there were none where I lived. So I knew that to be an artist you had to be somewhere else. And I very much wanted to be somewhere else.