Yes,’ I say. ‘It’s my first actual day of high school ever. I moved from the country. I was home-schooled via distance ed before now.’ ‘Incredible.’ He shakes my free hand, while lying in that peculiar position. ‘You’ve managed to evade formal education for a signifcant period of your life. Congratulations and well done.’ ‘Are you taking the piss?’ ‘Good God, no.