I'm not a comic. I'm a humorist.
Political promises are much like marriage vows. They are made at the beginning of the relationship between candidate and voter, but are quickly forgotten.
Riches do not delight us so much with their possession, as torment us with their loss.
My mother was the sweetest lady who ever lived on this planet, but if you tried to tell her that Jesus wasn't a Christian, she would stomp you to death.
Once I realised the value of making people laugh, I got very good at it. Fast.
Just being a Negro doesn't qualify you to understand the race situation any more than being sick makes you an expert on medicine.