Let your enemies be disarmed by the gentleness of your manner, but at the same time let them feel, the steadiness of your resentment.
Judgment is not upon all occasions required, but discretion always is.
The only solid and lasting peace between a man and his wife is, doubtless, a separation.
Young men are apt to think themselves wise enough, as drunken men are apt to think themselves sober enough.
A novel must be exceptionally good to live as long as the average cat.
Learning is acquired by reading books, but the much more necessary learning, the knowledge of the world, is only to be acquired by reading men, and studying all the various facets of them.
A man of sense only trifles with them, plays with them, humors and flatters them, as he does with a sprightly and forward child; but he neither consults them about, nor trusts them with, serious matters.
Women are only children of a larger growth. A man of sense only trifles with them, plays with them, humours and flatters them, as he does with a sprightly and forward child; but he neither consults them about, nor trusts them with, serious matters.
Frequent and loud laughter is the characteristic of folly and ill manners.
The mere brute pleasure of reading - the sort of pleasure a cow must have in grazing.
A weak mind is like a microscope, which magnifies trifling things, but cannot receive great ones.
A young man, be his merit what it will, can never raise himself; but must, like the ivy round the oak, twine himself round some man of great power and interest.
In seeking wisdom thou art wise; in imagining that thou hast attained it - thou art a fool.
The heart never grows better by age; I fear rather worse, always harder. A young liar will be an old one, and a young knave will only be a greater knave as he grows older.
The less one has to do, the less time one finds to do it in.
Gratitude is a burden upon our imperfect nature, and we are but too willing to ease ourselves of it, or at least to lighten it as much as we can.
Knowledge may give weight, but accomplishments give luster, and many more people see than weigh.
In matters of religion and matrimony I never give any advice; because I will not have anybody's torments in this world or the next laid to my charge.
Our prejudices are our mistresses; reason is at best our wife, very often heard indeed, but seldom minded.
Sex: the pleasure is momentary, the position ridiculous, and the expense damnable.