Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which, before their union, were not perceived to have any relation.
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
Prosperity is the best protector of principle.
The wit knows that his place is at the tail of a procession.
Few of us can stand prosperity. Another man's, I mean.
I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping.
There are lies, damned lies and statistics.
Man was made at the end of the week's work, when God was tired.