Ahh, Earth Day, the only day of the year where being able to hacky-sack will get you laid.
I was born in New York City, but I was raised in New Jersey, part of the great Jewish emigration of 1963.
Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch.
If you don't stick to your values when they're being tested, they're not values: they're hobbies.
President Bush remained undeterred by the massive display of American opposition, even though much of it came from the hundreds of thousands of voters who supported him by voting for Nader.
There is no such thing as an impartial jury because there are no impartial people. There are people that argue on the web for hours about who their favorite character on 'Friends' is.
Insomnia is my greatest inspiration.
We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. There's just one problem - it's in North Korea.
I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over.
More than 150 heads of state attended the UN Summit, giving New Yorkers a chance to get in touch with prejudices they didn't even know they had.
I was born with an adult head and a tiny body. Like a 'Peanuts' character.
The seven marvels that best represent man's achievements over the last 2,000 years will be determined by Internet vote... so look for Howard Stern's Private Parts to come in No. 1.
If you're going to give people 20 minutes of news satire, you've also got to give them Tiffani-Amber Thiessen or you're going to have rioting in the streets.
Why is it that if you take advantage of a corporate tax break you're a smart businessman, but if you take advantage of something so you don't go hungry, you're a moocher?
I don't care about wealth. What seems to be upsetting is institutionalizing the advantages that wealth gives you.
