New Year's resolutions work like this: you think of something you enjoy doing and then resolve to stop doing it.
I can't imagine painting my face in a team colour and roaring with delight as a multi-millionaire kicks a ball at a net.
When you're being earnest, people think you're being sarcastic, and when you're being sarcastic, they think you're being earnest. The moral in all this, of course, is that people should never attempt to communicate.
Technology is a tool that has allowed us to swipe around like an angry toddler.
We humans are great at creating tools with unforeseen consequences. For instance, when we invented the wheel, we had no way of knowing we were also laying the foundations for the TV show 'Top Gear.'
I haven't always been the kind of man who plays videogames. I used to be the kind of boy who played videogames.
Videogames are probably my first love.
I can't imagine voluntarily standing beside an F1 track in the rain, watching motorised wedges plastered in corporate decals zooming past at 500mph.
The logical quandaries thrown up by well-meaning systems are clearly something that I find darkly amusing.